What It Means To Be Human
by OmegaCrusader
Summary: "So, I guess that, in the face of your own humanity, your looks, your character, your entire life - none of that makes you any more or less human." He took another gulp of the liquor. "You can't 'engineer' someone's humanity - they have to live up to it."
1. Loyalties

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Mass Effect trilogy, Commander Shepard, etc.**

If you're thinking I'm going to discontinue **_To Be A Hero_** in favor of this, you're wrong. Yes, I will continue this as well, side by side. I'm much more confident in the fact that I can update two stories simultaneously.

Anyway, _**Just Once**_ is essentially my take on various aspects in Miranda's romance progression, and, yes, I'm going to drastically change many things.

Why?

Because I can.

It's not like I'm not content with the romance, it's just ... well, this is fanfiction. And we can do anything with fanfiction, even if it makes no sense at all. Anyway, I suppose this is just for a bit of recreation, anything to get my head out of writer's block. No, this is not just a one-shot. It'll consist of several chapters, and in the same style of **_To Be A Hero_**, I'll start with the ending, and leave the more interesting/drastically changed bits for later.

* * *

He was bleeding, a gaping side wound from where several bullets had hit him when his shields were down, but Shepard would feel much better after he applied some omni-gel. But they were wasting time. The Human-Reaper was gone and done – now all that was left was to destroy the base.

"Shepard to ground team, status report!" he called over the radio as he strode over to set the bomb.

A few seconds of static passed before someone responded. "Shepard!" and Shepard could discern the guttural voice amidst the background noise of gunfire and explosions belonged to Grunt. "You're missing it! It's goddamn glorious! I'll climb out on their bodies!"

The commander nodded unconsciously before kneeling next to the reactor core. "Head to the Normandy." he ordered. "Garrus," he addressed his old turian comrade. "Keep a lookout for any unwanted visitors. Joker, prep the engines. I'm about to overload this place and blow it sky high."

"Roger that commander." Joker responded. "Wait, uh, commander, I've got an incoming signal from the Illusive Man. EDI's patching it through."

Miranda stepped forward, her omni-tool flashing before a holographic projection of the Illusive Man appeared. His inhuman blue eyes shone with an odd sort of light, his countenance neutral as always.

"Shepard," he began in his somewhat-drawling, cultured voice. "You've done the impossible."

Shepard turned his head around, simultaneously wiring the reactor to overload. "I was part of a team," he said with a slightly irritated tone in his voice. "Some of them gave their lives for this mission."

The Illusive Man nodded. "I know. Their sacrifices will not be forgotten. You did what you had to do, and you acquired the Collector Base." He paused, but something in his voice told Shepard that he wasn't finished.

_Where's he going with this?_

"I'm looking at the schematics EDI uploaded. A timed radiation pulse would kill the remaining Collectors, but leave the machinery and technology intact." the Illusive Man said with a fierce light in his eyes. "This is our chance, Shepard. They were building a Reaper. That knowledge - that framework - could save us."

Shepard scoffed, briefly turning his attention back to the reactor. "They liquefied people. Turned them into something horrible. We have to destroy the base." There was a sort of finality to his tone, a steely inexorableness in his eyes.

"Don't be short-sighted." the Illusive Man waved away Shepard's argument, shaking his head slightly. "Our best chance against the Reapers is to turn their own resources against them."

"I'm not so sure." Miranda said slowly, skeptically. "Seeing it all firsthand ... seeing the Human-Reaper ... can we really utilize that kind of technology – that kind of immense power - the right way?"

"If we don't, humanity might and will perish." the Illusive Man said, beginning to feel rather aggravated. "Look at it carefully. They were working directly with the Collectors - who knows what information is buried there? This base is a gift, Shepard - we can't just destroy it. Not when so many lives are at stake. Not when the entire future of humanity is at stake."

"You're completely ruthless." Shepard sneered, disgust apparent in his tone. "Next thing I know you'll want to grow your own Reaper."

"My goal is to save humanity from the Reapers, at any cost." the Illusive Man argued. "I've never hidden that from you. Imagine how many lives could be saved if we leave this technology intact and use its knowledge to thwart the Reapers. Imagine the lives that would be lost if we don't."

"No matter what kind of technology we might find," Shepard said, finalizing the wiring. "It's not worth it. I don't trust you with this sort of power. I wouldn't trust anyone with it."

"I know you don't trust me, but sometimes you just have to take the risk! Will you damn the whole future of humanity out of this? Shepard, you died fighting for what you believed. I brought you back so you could keep fighting. I trusted that you would do the right thing, I trusted that you would fight back against the Collectors. We _need _this kind of technology in our hands."

"Our hands or just humanity's? Just Cerberus's? We don't _need _this base. We can fight and win without it." In a softer voice that didn't reach the piercing, contemptuous gaze he held with the Illusive Man, he said, "I won't let fear compromise who I am."

The Illusive Man turned around and faced Miranda. "Miranda, do not let Shepard destroy the base!" he said, almost desperate.

"Or what? You'll replace me next?" Miranda scoffed, eying the Illusive Man disdainfully.

The Illusive Man might've been slack-jawed, if his face could show it from underneath the undisguised fury in his expression. "I gave you an order, Miranda!"

"I noticed. But I'm with Shepard. Consider this my resignation."

"Miranda, what the _hell _has gotten into you?" Then comprehension seemed to dawn on the Illusive Man as he looked between Shepard and Miranda. This time, he couldn't keep the shock, anger, and disgust out of his voice. "Oh, Christ. You _slept _with him, didn't you?"

"That's enough." Shepard took one step towards the Illusive Man, furious. "You made me in charge of this mission, and I say we blow the damn place up. And that's _final_." He chuckled humorlessly. "Guess you _should've _listened to Miranda about that control chip, eh?"

"Damn you, Shepard! When humanity falls, you'll regret it! You'll never manage to win against the Reapers, but I'll-"

"I'm sorry," Shepard interrupted mockingly with a sneer. "I'm getting a lot of _bullshit_ on this line. Call you back later, _jackass_." With that, Miranda cut the line off.

"All clear, Shepard," Garrus said as he strode over. "And here," he added, handing over a small, thick, disk-like object – the bomb. "A parting gift for the Collectors." he said with a grin.

After a few moments, Shepard typed in a few keystrokes and stood up. "Let's move. We've got ten minutes before the reactor overloads and blows this whole station apart."

Before anyone could respond, a rumbling rippled throughout the entire base.

_What the-?_

A huge shadow rose over the trio, and even before he saw it, Shepard knew what it was, but it was _impossible _–

_Ho__ly Christ._

The Human-Reaper was getting back up.


	2. Another Way

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Mass Effect trilogy, Commander Shepard, etc.**

This chapter is short. The next one will skip backwards and show snippets of pre-Suicide Mission Shep/Miranda interaction. Yes, that's the drastically-changed bits.

* * *

He awoke to a blinding light and the uncomfortable weight of a huge slab of metal bearing down on his back. Groaning, he forced himself up, shrugging the metal slab off before setting it aside. It took him several seconds to remember what had happened, and then he saw Garrus lying underneath the rubble as well.

_Shit, Garrus, you'd better be unconscious, you ornery bastard, or I'll kill you!_

He rushed over to the side of the scarred turian, pushing the rubble off of his chest before Garrus's eyes opened groggily, comprehension dawning on him faster than it had been for Shepard.

"Come on, Garrus," Shepard said, pulling him up. "Don't leave us now."

"Yeah, yeah," Garrus said, catching his breath. "But Shepard," he added. "Don't forget about Miranda."

_Oh God. How did I ...? _

He had completely forgotten, reacted instinctively when he saw Garrus crumpled underneath the rubble.

Shepard turned and saw Miranda buried underneath a torn wedge of one of the platforms they had been fighting on. He dashed over, virtually threw the metal slab over the side of the cliff-like edge they were on, and desperately tried to shake her awake, his heart pounding.

"Damnit, damnit, god-_fucking_-damnit," he silently but furiously cursed under his breath. "Miranda, wake up, _please_ ..."

It took a few moments before Miranda opened her eyes, and it was an understatement to say that Shepard was relieved. But the base was about to detonate, and they could all have cause to celebrate for later.

As he helped her up, the radio sounded, Joker's voice an unexpected noise that made Shepard jump. "Commander, do you copy? Commander? Come on Shepard, don't leave us hanging ..."

Shepard turned away before responding. "I'm here Joker. Did the ground team make it?"

"All survivors on board, commander." Joker said. "We're just waiting for you."

As Joker said those words, a sort of screeching, buzzing noise sounded from behind the trio.

"**Human, you've changed nothing.**" Harbinger boomed as Collector swarms began to form from behind them before the trio broke into a run.

"**Your species has the attention of those infinitely your greater.**" the Reaper continued as Shepard took a few potshots at the Collector swarms chasing after them.

"**That which you know as the Reapers are your salvation through destruction.**"Shepard saw the remaining Collectors rush out from a branching corridor, brandishing their rifles at the trio, but they all continued running.

The Collectors poured out, fighting furiously, perhaps borne out of a desire to take Shepard down with them, the three survivors not slowing down as bullets filled the air, several explosions occurring around the base as it began to fall apart.

Salvation appeared in the form of the Normandy SR-2 rising right in front of them, and Shepard couldn't help but laugh aloud, triumphantly, mockingly towards the Collectors, at the sight of Joker, old crippled Jeff Moreau, standing at the entrance of the airlock, wielding an assault rifle and firing furiously at the Collectors. This was it; this was the end of the mission – they were going to make it out _alive_ –

Shards of metal began to fall from the ceiling, some shards destroying the platforms that linked together, forming a sort of bridge to the Normandy's airlock. Garrus leaped first, then Miranda, all of them waiting for Shepard.

Putting on a bit of speed in his run, it looked like he was going to make it, before-

_Shit!_

A jagged shard of metal fell down from the ceiling and destroyed the platform that acted as the bridge to the Normandy, and it was a long jump.

_Not to mention a long way down._

"Shepard!" Garrus yelled over the cacophony of gunfire and explosions. "Jump!"

He was pushing his already-superhuman system to the maximum limit, and even further than that, but he put all of strength into running, preparing for the jump.

_Do it!_

Time seemed to slow down as he leapt over the gap, which, in truth, was not entirely that large of a gap, but Shepard still had to struggle to vault over it.

He felt the wind knocked out of him as his stomach hit the edge hard, nearly falling. His hand caught the edge before he felt Miranda help him up, Garrus and Joker covering them.

"Get in!" Shepard roared as the airlock door opened and the Normandy began to fly away, abandoning the Collectors to their fate.

Joker rushed into the cockpit, abandoning the rifle whilst Shepard collapsed against the wall, catching his breath, nearly half of his ribs smashed, his side bleeding uncontrollably, a gash in his leg, but at least he – and everyone else – was _alive._

"Detonation in ten, nine, eight-" EDI's voice sounded.

"Yeah, I got the gist of it, EDI!" Joker yelled, under pressure. "Hold on!" He clambered back into his seat, frantically maneuvering the Normandy out of the detonation splash zone.

As Shepard leaned against the wall, the Normandy rushing out of the base and even further away, the base exploding in a brilliant, almighty torrent of furious light and fire that could consume planets, Harbinger's voice rang inside his head.

"_**You have failed. We will find another way.**__"_


End file.
